Man Confirms He Has Been Wearing The Same Rashguard All Week, Says He 'Turned It Inside Out' On Tuesday
He maintains it 'aired out' between Monday and Tuesday, which is not how anything works.
Gracie Barra Unveils Wider Belt Stripes, Mandatory Branded Tape, And Somehow A Ceremony Fee
The new stripes represent a 40% increase over the current dimensions, which were themselves already wider than anything seen at any other academy on earth.
Local Gym's No-Gi Class Is Just Seven Guys Who All Think They're Gordon Ryan
Everyone's doing the body lock pass. Nobody's hitting them. But everyone's trying them. From everywhere.
Your Professor's Girlfriend Started Training Three Months Ago And She's Already Got Two Stripes
Nobody says anything. The other coaches don't say anything. The purple belts don't say anything.
Latest from the mat
Professional Boxer Completes Entire First BJJ Class Without Once Touching The Ground
Demarco Williams, ranked 12th at junior welterweight, attended a free trial class at Tampa Submission Co., stood in the corner for 58 minutes, and left with his hands raised.
New BJJ Streaming Platform Promises To Disrupt The Industry; Nobody Can Figure Out How To Subscribe
GrapplePass has 47 employees, 12,000 hours of content, and zero paying customers who successfully completed checkout.
Gym's 'Beginner Friendly' Monday Class Contains Four Black Belts, One World Champion, And A Man Who Trained With Rickson
The class description still says 'no experience necessary.'
January White Belt Flood Arrives; Purple Belts Reportedly Last Seen Heading Toward Fire Exit
Every year without fail. Every single year.
Nation's BJJ Academies Brace For Annual January White Belt Surge Expected To Thin By February 3rd
Coaches describe the phenomenon as a 'temporary biological event, like cicadas, but they smell worse.'
Holiday Gift Guide For The Person In Your Life Who Won't Shut Up About Jiu-Jitsu
You could get them something else. They won't care about something else.
Man Arrives To Open Mat With Clipboard, Color-Coded Spreadsheet, Leaves With Broken Nose
He was tracking submission attempts, sweep efficiency, and 'positional dominance quotient.' He is now tracking whether his nose is broken.
Local Black Belt Releases Instructional With More Runtime Than The Lord Of The Rings Extended Edition
Volume 7 covers the de la Riva guard. Volume 7 is eleven hours long.
Retired UFC Veteran Opens BJJ Academy, Lineage Page Just Says 'The Streets'
Razor's Edge Combat Academy has four coaches, seventeen programs, and a website that lists its BJJ lineage as: 'Helio Gracie > Various > Real World Experience > Coach Razor.'
Competitor's Carefully Researched 'Competition Diet' Is Just Not Eating For Three Days
He's read about intermittent fasting, metabolic adaptation, and something called 'strategic carb suppression.' His plan is to have a protein bar Wednesday.
BJJ Tournament Livestream Crashes Every Three Minutes, Organizers Assure Fans It's 'Almost Fixed'
The stream has gone down eleven times. Each time, a moderator posts 'back in 2 mins!' in the chat. It has never been two minutes.
New Local Gym Claims Direct Lineage From Four Separate Gracies Simultaneously
The website currently lists Hélio, Rickson, Royce, and Carlos Jr. as lineage anchors, which is not how lineage works.
Region's Top BJJ Referee Has Never Trained A Day In His Life, Sources Confirm
He's called advantages for things that aren't advantages and missed heel hooks so obvious the audience was yelling the rule.
Man Who 'Trains UFC' Arrives At BJJ Open Mat, Situation Deteriorates Rapidly
Tyler Brent, 34, showed up Saturday with no gi, no rashguard, a Tapout shirt from 2009, and total confidence. By minute six he was upside down.
Guy Who Cross-Trains At Three Gyms Somehow Terrible At All Three
He's been at it eighteen months. He attends eleven classes a week across three academies. He cannot pass guard.
Man Posts 45-Minute YouTube Breakdown Of 30-Second Match
The match ended by rear naked choke at 0:28. The breakdown does not end until 44:17.
Local Gym's New Social Media Intern Has Discovered Motivational Quotes Over Training Footage
In two weeks, Triangle BJJ Academy's Instagram engagement dropped 40%. The professor seems proud.
Local Purple Belt Quietly Accepts He Has Peaked
Three years in, the arc is clear. He's not getting worse. He's just done getting better.
New White Belt Asks Which Leg Lock Instructional To Buy On First Day Of Training
He was shown how to break fall. He rolled once. He is now asking about the Reilly Bodnar series vs. the John Danaher lower body attacks. He seems serious.
Local Tournament Bracket Features Eight Competitors, Six Of Whom Did Not Show Up
The adult blue belt lightweight division had five registered entries and one competitor. He won gold. He is not sure how to feel about it.
Local Competitor Clarifies That The Açaí Is Purely For Recovery, Not The Other Thing
He has one every morning. Sometimes two. The tub of powder in his gym bag is also for recovery. Everything is for recovery.
Gym Owner Adds Fourth Mandatory Seminar This Month, Assures Members It's 'Really This One'
The May calendar now contains more mandatory seminars than regular classes. Members are handling it well.
UFC Contender Submitted In 47 Seconds Clarifies He Was 'Working On His Bottom Game'
Darian 'The Ghost' Kovacs says the loss to Renato Lima was actually part of a long-term developmental plan he had not previously mentioned.
Open Mat Suspended After Training Partner's Gi Declared 'Active Biohazard' by Informal Vote
The unanimous 14-0 vote to end open mat early came without formal discussion, as most participants had already moved to the parking lot.
Blue Belt Announces Retirement From Competition Following Devastating 0-1 Career
After careful reflection on his first and only tournament appearance, Ryan Castellano, 28, has decided to focus on what he calls 'the real jiu-jitsu.'
Local Gym Institutes 'No Ego' Policy, Preliminary Data Suggests Ego Now Higher Than Ever
Six weeks after posting a hand-painted sign reading NO EGO, mat leadership estimates total gym ego has increased by a figure they decline to quantify.
Area Man Who 'Doesn't Believe in Tapping' Returns Home With Interesting Elbow Situation
Travis Holmquist, 34, says he has no regrets about his philosophical stance, though his elbow now bends in a direction that elbows are not supposed to bend.
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BJJ's premier source of news that probably isn't true. We cover the sport with the love and irreverence it deserves. Everything here is satire. None of this happened. Probably.