Look, we’re not saying there’s a pattern. We’re just saying that every academy in America has a 23-year-old white belt who showed up in September, started dating the head instructor by October, and now she’s drilling armbars in the advanced class while people who’ve been training for two years are still being told they’re “not ready.”
Nobody says anything. The other coaches don’t say anything. The purple belts don’t say anything. The front desk doesn’t say anything. Her boyfriend — sorry, her Professor — definitely doesn’t say anything, because he’s too busy posting couples training videos with captions like “when your partner is also your training partner” followed by seven fire emojis.
She’ll get her blue belt by June. We all know it. She knows it. The universe knows it.
Meanwhile, the 34-year-old accountant who’s been showing up four days a week for three years just got asked if he’s “thought about competing at white belt.”