Local Gym's No-Gi Class Is Just Seven Guys Who All Think They're Gordon Ryan
Everyone's doing the body lock pass. Nobody's hitting them. But everyone's trying them. From everywhere.
Gym Culture
Gym Culture
18 articles · The Porra
Your Professor's Girlfriend Started Training Three Months Ago And She's Already Got Two Stripes
Nobody says anything. The other coaches don't say anything. The purple belts don't say anything.
Man Confirms He Has Been Wearing The Same Rashguard All Week, Says He 'Turned It Inside Out' On Tuesday
He maintains it 'aired out' between Monday and Tuesday, which is not how anything works.
Gym's 'Beginner Friendly' Monday Class Contains Four Black Belts, One World Champion, And A Man Who Trained With Rickson
The class description still says 'no experience necessary.'
January White Belt Flood Arrives; Purple Belts Reportedly Last Seen Heading Toward Fire Exit
Every year without fail. Every single year.
Nation's BJJ Academies Brace For Annual January White Belt Surge Expected To Thin By February 3rd
Coaches describe the phenomenon as a 'temporary biological event, like cicadas, but they smell worse.'
Man Arrives To Open Mat With Clipboard, Color-Coded Spreadsheet, Leaves With Broken Nose
He was tracking submission attempts, sweep efficiency, and 'positional dominance quotient.' He is now tracking whether his nose is broken.
Competitor's Carefully Researched 'Competition Diet' Is Just Not Eating For Three Days
He's read about intermittent fasting, metabolic adaptation, and something called 'strategic carb suppression.' His plan is to have a protein bar Wednesday.
New Local Gym Claims Direct Lineage From Four Separate Gracies Simultaneously
The website currently lists Hélio, Rickson, Royce, and Carlos Jr. as lineage anchors, which is not how lineage works.
Guy Who Cross-Trains At Three Gyms Somehow Terrible At All Three
He's been at it eighteen months. He attends eleven classes a week across three academies. He cannot pass guard.
Local Gym's New Social Media Intern Has Discovered Motivational Quotes Over Training Footage
In two weeks, Triangle BJJ Academy's Instagram engagement dropped 40%. The professor seems proud.
Local Purple Belt Quietly Accepts He Has Peaked
Three years in, the arc is clear. He's not getting worse. He's just done getting better.
New White Belt Asks Which Leg Lock Instructional To Buy On First Day Of Training
He was shown how to break fall. He rolled once. He is now asking about the Reilly Bodnar series vs. the John Danaher lower body attacks. He seems serious.
Local Competitor Clarifies That The Açaí Is Purely For Recovery, Not The Other Thing
He has one every morning. Sometimes two. The tub of powder in his gym bag is also for recovery. Everything is for recovery.
Gym Owner Adds Fourth Mandatory Seminar This Month, Assures Members It's 'Really This One'
The May calendar now contains more mandatory seminars than regular classes. Members are handling it well.
Open Mat Suspended After Training Partner's Gi Declared 'Active Biohazard' by Informal Vote
The unanimous 14-0 vote to end open mat early came without formal discussion, as most participants had already moved to the parking lot.
Local Gym Institutes 'No Ego' Policy, Preliminary Data Suggests Ego Now Higher Than Ever
Six weeks after posting a hand-painted sign reading NO EGO, mat leadership estimates total gym ego has increased by a figure they decline to quantify.
Area Man Who 'Doesn't Believe in Tapping' Returns Home With Interesting Elbow Situation
Travis Holmquist, 34, says he has no regrets about his philosophical stance, though his elbow now bends in a direction that elbows are not supposed to bend.