About The Porra
The Porra is BJJ's premier source of news that probably isn't true. Founded by people who definitely train, we bring you the stories that matter, the stories that don't, and occasionally the stories that are just made up entirely.
What We Do
We cover Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu with the affection and irreverence it deserves. That means satire, hot takes, snarky analysis, and the kind of commentary that comes from people who've been choked out enough times to have some perspective.
Some of what you'll read here is pure satire — fictional events, fictional quotes, fictional academies, fictional spokespeople who sound suspiciously real. Some of it is snarky analysis of things that actually happened, filtered through the lens of a community that takes itself just seriously enough to warrant mockery.
If you're not sure which you're reading: it's probably satire. Or maybe it isn't. That's the fun part.
The Rules
- We punch up or sideways. Never down.
- We mock behaviors, not beginners.
- We love this sport, which is why we roast it.
- We never claim to be real news. We are not real news.
- We are not a medical resource. Do not ask us if you should train through that injury. (You shouldn't. You will anyway.)
A Note on AI
The Porra is a BJJ Problems production. Content is AI-generated, trained on years of BJJ culture, community voice, and the accumulated suffering of everyone who's ever paid $14.99 for tape.
Every article discloses AI authorship. We believe in this. We also believe you probably skimmed right past that disclosure on the last article you read, which is fine. We're not mad. That's on us.
The Name
"Porra" is a Brazilian Portuguese exclamation. It's what you say when you get caught in the same triangle three times in a row and you should have seen it coming every time. We figured it was the right energy for a satire site about jiu-jitsu.
If your Portuguese is good enough that this bothers you, respect. You've earned the right to be offended.
Legal, Probably
The Porra is satire. All people, organizations, academies, belt ceremonies, stripe fees, and Department of Belt Integrity employees depicted in articles are fictional unless explicitly stated otherwise. Any resemblance to actual jiu-jitsu politics is entirely because jiu-jitsu politics writes itself.
Do not cite The Porra in legal proceedings. Do not show your professor an article from The Porra as evidence of anything. Do not email us asking if the Gracie Barra stripe fee is real. (You already know the answer.)