PORTLAND, OR — Cascade Grappling Collective, a mid-sized BJJ gym in Portland’s Foster-Powell neighborhood, announced in early February the implementation of a formal No Ego Policy, citing a desire to create a “welcoming, ego-free training environment.” Six weeks later, multiple sources within the gym report that ego is measurably, observably worse.
The policy was communicated via a hand-lettered sign mounted above the water fountain, an email to members with the subject line “A Note on Our Culture,” and a brief speech by head instructor and founding partner Dillon Pryce, who delivered it while wearing his belt. His black belt. Which he mentioned was from Ribeiro. Which he has a direct lineage from. Just so everyone knows.
“The sign definitely made some guys competitive about how ego-free they are,” said one purple belt, who asked not to be named. “There’s a dude who now corrects people’s technique in the middle of rolls and then says ‘no ego’ afterward. Like that’s a license.”
Observers note that ego-related incidents have diversified since the policy’s introduction rather than decreased. These include: a brown belt who began explicitly announcing when he was “going easy” and how easy, specifically; a blue belt who started a group chat called “Real Talk (No Ego)” in which he posts footage of his competition matches; and at least one instance of a white belt citing the policy during a post-roll dispute about whether a submission was “actually locked in.”
Pryce, reached for comment between a private lesson and a Zoom interview for a podcast about gym culture, acknowledged that behavior change “takes time.” He noted that the gym recently added a second sign reading BE HUMBLE near the entrance.
The second sign is larger.
This article is satire. The Porra is a fictional publication. No actual gyms were harmed, though several were extremely triggered.