COLUMBUS, OH — Ironhold Jiu-Jitsu Academy has not updated the class schedule on its website since April 2019, a decision owner and head instructor Devin McLaren, 51, describes as a deliberate philosophical stance intended to ‘preserve the reverence’ of the academy and protect what he repeatedly refers to only as ‘the way.’
The schedule page at ironholdbjj.com currently lists a single ‘Fundamentals’ class at 6pm Tuesday, the ‘Beginner Grappling Primer’ at 7pm Thursday, and a Saturday open mat ‘TBD — call Devin.’ All three times are wrong. The Saturday number rings to a voicemail that has been full since 2021.
McLaren, a purple belt under his own lineage, insists the online blackout is working as intended.
‘Jiu-jitsu is not a Peloton class,’ McLaren said from behind the gym’s front desk, which is an overturned milk crate with a ledger on it. ‘You don’t just pull out your phone and go. You come here. You find us. If a person needs a website to know when class starts, that person is not ready for the mat. The ancestors did not consult Google Calendar.’
Attendance at Ironhold is down an estimated 60% from its 2022 peak, according to three training partners who spoke on condition that Devin not find out.
The actual, current class schedule exists only inside a WhatsApp group called ‘IRONHOLD FAMILY 🦁🥋 (do not leave).’ The group currently has 486 members. Of those 486, active training partners estimate that fewer than 30 attend class with any regularity. The remaining 456 are a mixture of former students, visiting competitors, two of McLaren’s estranged cousins, at least one former UPS driver, and an unknown number of people who accidentally clicked a link in a bio once in 2020.
Nobody knows how to leave the group. Several have tried. When asked, McLaren stated that leaving the group is ‘a spiritual decision’ and that ‘the people who need to stay, stay.’
‘I muted it in 2023,’ said Kevin Trask, 34, a mortgage underwriter and four-stripe white belt who has not trained at Ironhold in seven months but still receives approximately 140 messages per day, including birthday announcements, flyers for a BBQ that already happened, a GoFundMe for someone’s injured cousin, and the phrase ‘OSS 🫡’ at 5:14am every morning. ‘I just don’t know how to get out without making it weird.’
New prospects hoping to try a class have described the experience of trying to find out when class actually meets as ‘a test,’ ‘disorienting,’ and, in one case submitted via the gym’s contact form, ‘genuinely upsetting.’
Prospective student Bryce Pellman, 26, an insurance adjuster who moved to Columbus in January, spent eleven days attempting to determine Ironhold’s class times before giving up.
‘The website said Thursday at seven, so I showed up Thursday at seven,’ Pellman said. ‘The lights were off. There was a note on the door that said “Class moved — ask someone.” I didn’t know anyone. There was a guy in a car in the parking lot and I asked him. He said “depends on the week” and drove away.’
Pellman now trains at Westside Submission Project, a gym nine minutes away run by McLaren’s younger brother, Trevor, whose website lists the schedule, the pricing, the instructor bios, and a functional ‘Book Your Free Trial’ button. Westside’s enrollment has grown 40% year over year.
McLaren declined to comment on his brother’s gym but described competitors with online booking systems as ‘selling out the art for convenience’ and ‘basically CrossFit.’
At press time, the most reliable schedule source at Ironhold remained a handwritten index card, laminated, kept in a binder on a shelf in the back storage room next to a box of unclaimed mouthguards. The card was last updated in July. It is written partially in Portuguese. Devin’s wife, Amanda, is the only person who knows where the Sharpie is.
Black belt Dominic Vasquez, 39, recently attempted to solve the schedule problem on his own by creating a shared Google Calendar, which he now distributes privately to trusted members via text message like an underground pamphlet. Vasquez has been passing it around for six months. McLaren remains unaware the calendar exists. Vasquez has asked that its existence not be mentioned on the mats.
‘If Devin finds out, he’s going to do the speech again,’ Vasquez said. ‘The one about the temple. I can’t sit through the temple speech again.’
The temple speech, according to multiple sources, is a 22-minute monologue McLaren delivers anytime a student suggests modernizing any aspect of the gym, including the broken air conditioner, the single functioning shower, or the front door, which currently does not lock.
Asked whether the 60% attendance drop concerned him, McLaren paused, adjusted his faded black belt, and gestured broadly at the mostly empty mat behind him.
‘The ones who are meant to be here are here,’ he said.
There were two people on the mat. One of them was his wife.