AUSTIN, TX — Ryan Castellano, 28, a blue belt of nine months at Triangle Choke BJJ, announced Sunday via Instagram story that he is officially stepping away from competition to focus on “the real jiu-jitsu” — specifically the version practiced inside his home gym among people who know him and have seen what he can do.
Castellano entered his first and only tournament, the Central Texas Open, on March 29th. He lost by points in the first round to an opponent he describes as “clearly a sandbagger” and whom tournament records identify as also a blue belt with a similar amount of time training. The match lasted four minutes and seven seconds.
“I learned a lot from that experience,” Castellano wrote in a statement posted to his Instagram stories at 11:47 p.m. Sunday. “But competition jiu-jitsu isn’t real jiu-jitsu. It’s about stalling and gaming the rules. That’s not what the art is about.” The story included a quote attributed to Hélio Gracie that could not be verified and may not exist.
His instructor, Professor James Witt, offered measured support. “I told him competing once is better than not competing,” Witt said. “He said he was thinking more long-term now. About legacy.” Witt paused. “He’s been a blue belt for nine months.”
Castellano says he plans to focus on private lessons, open mat mentorship, and a YouTube channel he is launching called “Real Jiu-Jitsu” in which he plans to break down high-level matches. The channel currently has no subscribers and one upload: a seven-minute video in which he explains what Gordon Ryan did wrong in a 2023 match.
He has not ruled out a return to competition. “If the right opportunity comes along,” he said, “maybe Abu Dhabi.”
This article is satire. The Porra is a fictional publication. We support everyone who has ever competed once and decided that was enough.